EP 2401 - Exploring Podcasts and Perfecting Icebreakers

Insights on Online Dating and AI Icebreaker Tool

Join Teresa Conway as she explores the world of online dating, AI-powered communication tools, and the art of creating engaging conversations. In this episode, Teresa discusses:

• Her venture into podcasting and plans for "The How to Cheat Podcast" with co-host Mona Lisa
• The development and effectiveness of her AI-powered icebreaker tool for dating apps
• Strategies for crafting compelling opening messages in online dating
• Real-world feedback and success stories from users of her tools
• The balance between automated assistance and personal touch in digital communication

Whether you're navigating the complexities of online dating or interested in how AI is shaping modern relationships, The Teresa Pod offers valuable insights and practical advice. Tune in for a blend of personal anecdotes, tech talk, and dating wisdom.

Cleaned Up Transcript

Introduction and Podcast Plans

Hi, good morning. It's Teresa Conway, and I'm just giving you some audio updates, because as I explore podcasting and the audio world, I'm wondering if it's something I'd rather do than write. Of course, I'm going to keep writing, but for quick updates and little things like that, it might be easier for you to listen to. Just let me know; drop me a comment and tell me if you want me to get back on the keyboard because you're tired of listening to me.

So, Mona Lisa and I have been chatting back and forth and coming up with a plan. We've established an account on Podbean, and from Podbean, we can go to a bunch of other podcasting services. Podbean hosts us, and we can link that account to a bunch of other places, so you can probably listen to us wherever you listen to your podcasts. We will likely also publish those podcasts on Substack, on our own individual Substacks, and my Substack links to my newsletter, so it will go out to my newsletter followers as well. I think in some cases, these are all pretty much actually the same people, not the same people, but there's probably significant overlap. So we're going to get good coverage for the community.

Growth Potential and Show Format

And I think we're about to grow. I don't know. I think we could grow because, you know, a lot of people are interested in this stuff. They just aren't interested in reading about it as much as they are in listening to it. So that's where we're going. We haven't recorded our first test podcast. Mona Lisa was doing some traveling and just got home, so once she settles in, we'll probably get down and do, I'm going to call it a production or planning meeting for our first show. But shows are going to be about half an hour long, and they'll follow a format, you know, because we want to deliver people a professional product. Of course we do. So, we're working on it.

The Teresa Pod: A Solo Venture

And I'm also thinking, pardon me, I'm also thinking maybe outside of that podcast. So that podcast is going to be called the How to Cheat Podcast. And outside of that, I might do my own voice work. And I won't call it the How to Cheat Podcast because that's something Mo and I are going to do together. But maybe I'll call it like, uh, the Teresa Pod. I don't know, so if you got a better name than that, just let me know.

The AI Icebreaker Tool: User Feedback and Improvements

Okay, what I wanted to talk about is something fun that happened with my new icebreaker tool that I made on ChatGPT with my boyfriend. What it does is, you know, it's an icebreaker for a dating app. So you take the profile, you can copy and paste it into a screen cap, drop that in, and it's been shared a message. So a lot of the people who've been using it, you know, have been coming back and then giving me some feedback. And at first, I was a little bit surprised by the feedback because he said, you know, the tool was providing very poor messages and he had to do a lot of work on them. And, you know, I recognize the fact that they're not going to be perfect and they need to be worked on.

So I said, I'll tell you what, we're going to let me work with you. I'll give you some advice as you navigate online dating, and we'll give you feedback on the messages, and maybe we can work on the tool to improve it. So, as we did that, you know, he started showing me the messages that he was writing, and they were very well written. They were probably twice as long as I like to make, but, you know, they were detail-oriented on her, and most importantly, he was getting feedback. He was getting answers back, which is what the icebreaker is all about. It's opening up the discussion, opening the door, and then working from there.

The Salad vs. Lasagna Approach to Messaging

So, when I said, okay, well, show some of the, so those are the ones you're writing, these longer ones. If they were good. And I said, so show me what the tool is producing. And so he did, and I'm looking at them and thinking, wow, that's pretty much exactly like the messages that I write. So to me, the tool was working as expected. And I explained why. And I talked about... And I used this analogy in writing messages.

Okay, so when you send the first message, right, it's like going to a restaurant, you know? What do you start with? Usually, you start with a salad. You don't start with a lasagna. So I like to keep my icebreaker interesting, short, sweet, and crisp. And it gives her enough to see that you read her profile. And it's interesting enough for her to go look at your own profile. Because what a lot of men don't realize is they don't write anything. They write "hi," they'll write a three-word sentence: "Hey, how you doing?" "Hey, how's it going?" "Hi, do you want to chat?" Something like that. And she gets inundated with those.

The Problem with Copy-Paste Messages

So whenever there's a message that's more than about three sentences long, boom, she gives it some attention because she's like, oh, this guy actually took the time to write. Now a lot of women are kind of savvy, you know, in the sense that some guys want to shortcut this, and so they write a copy and paste message. So they just have one standard message, put it on there, and it usually works because on newer ladies, because it's actually more than three words long, it is interesting. But the tell and the sign of a copy and paste message is it mentions nothing about her or anything she said in the profile. A copy and paste message typically only ever talks about the sender. And that's fine. Men like to talk about themselves a lot. And so we can all certainly appreciate that. But it's not always the most effective thing.

Finding the Sweet Spot in Messaging

So, with mine, you know, they're longer, so they get attention, but they're not super long to kind of like drag her down, you know, and so mine are at the sweet spot. Now what I said to him, and I'll say to any guy, if you can write, and you are comfortable writing a longer message that is effective, that talks to her and talks to her profile, go for it. She will love it. But not everyone's going to do that, though. And that's where my tool comes in. My tool comes in for the person who wants to send the lady a message, an icebreaker, doesn't really know where to start, has a blank text box that he needs to fill up, and he doesn't know what to do. So I give you four or five sentences, boom, in half a second. You take that, you make sure it's all smart, fix it up a little bit if you need to, and put it in. She will love that one.

Client Feedback and Validation

So, if you're going to feed her a lasagna, right off the bat, make sure it's a good one. Okay? Otherwise, just feed her a salad. And as my client writes here, and I just want to quote him from our Telegram chat, but he says, where is he? And I quote, "Well, meanwhile, I have been messaging again on the affairs site online, Elicit Encounters, that's popular in the UK, getting replies, and now I'm also using more and more the vanilla custom GPT rather than my mods, and actually getting good results too, perhaps for less effort." So what he's referring to when he says vanilla custom GPT is actually my icebreaker tool, right? So he's calling them vanilla, for sure. They are vanilla, for the most part. And he's just taking those and using them and getting good results.

Why? Well, his lasagna is good. There's no question. I read the messages. They're great. But my salad is also good. And so when you invest some effort into making a lasagna, and it's good, people will love you. You invest effort in making salad, less effort. People will also love it. Well, it takes less work, so what are you going to make? Lasagnas or salads? Totally up to you. But I would recommend, if you can't do anything, serve her a salad.

The Power of Validation and Simple Methods

So, because I'm cheeky, I quoted him there, and I said, you don't say, you know, you don't say that my method works. Of course my method works, you know. I have literally produced thousands of messages now with my various tools and my own writing. And, in fact, my tool is trained on 138 messages that I've personally written. So it knows what to say. So if you're interested in that, you can check that out on my website at doll3fairy.com. And, well, maybe 58 minutes, I think it's on there. I don't know. I'll have to go look.

So that was that. But you know what? This back and forth, you know, I was able to help him a little bit with some things and reassure him and give some advice. And he was able to help me. And how he helped me was, once more, my method was validated, you know. And that's what pleases me because, you know, I'm selling something and I'm selling a service and I'm providing advice. And what concerns me is I need to know that the service is good and the advice is good because what would be the point of getting bad advice, and you know, I'm not much of a sales girl, uh, so I really don't always connect on the sales level because I just don't know how sometimes, right? I've never worked, honestly, I have never worked in a shop, and I probably should have because that would have been a great experience for me just to learn how to do this. But what it does confirm is that this very simple method that I've come up with, simple perhaps just to me, works. So there you go.

Conclusion and Future Plans

And so we're still chatting, and he's moving closer and closer to the thing he wants, which is the girlfriend. So I think I'm gonna leave it right there and just leave those two things. So this is probably as I said, it's going to be called tentatively called the Teresa Pod, and the How to Cheat Podcast is going to be, I don't know, maybe slicker, maybe not slicker. I have no idea, but it's going to be Mo and I, and it's going to be on Podbean. Then when we get episode one out the door, uh, you will all certainly hear about that. So thanks for listening. I'm Teresa Conway, and I want you to have a great day. Bye.